Iron Man

Iron Man was fantastic!!

yesterday we went to times square to watch Iron Man, it was great.
it was funny but somehow it is quite meaningful too..

who haven watch Iron Man, i highly recommend you to watch it..
hehe... (im not paid for that,haha)


nowadays, how many ppl will really give up the chance to earn money just because of other people? how many people will regret of what he have done when he know that people is suffering because of him?
in this world, a lot of people only think of their own benefits, they wouldnt bother that what will happen to other people. maybe what they have done might not affect other people immediately. but surely it will affect their body day by day, slowly bring other people to death.

but all these selfishness will not disappear by it own, because people's heart is closed. they couldnt feel other people's pain, because their heart is not complete. because of the absence of God, people cant love, people cant see other people's suffer, they can only see themself.

Its past

my birthday is past.
now is 30 apr 2008 1am.

my 20th birthday is the worst birthday for these 20 years.
1-exam period
2-no celebration
3-alone

whole day, i didnt talk, didnt smile..
i tried not to remember it was my birthday..
but its hard.

i know there are people planning to celebrate with me later.
but the meaning had lost....

till 11pm.. still got people wish me happy birthday..
thanks to my cousins.. they called me..
sing birthday song to me on the phone...
im so touch.. my first bday song..

till 11.45pm.. bin came..
he brought me ice cream.. but i didnt eat it..

dear, i know u r trying to comfort me..
but the depression i face on the whole day, not something that can easily forget..
you dun understand.. you wont understand...
although you cant understand what im facing...
i thank you you came. at the last 15 minutes.
accompany me go through the last 15 minutes..
borrowed me your shoulder..
the bday song u sang..
n the other songs that u trying to comfort me..
thank you.
i know u didnt read my blog, but still, i have to say thank you.

birthday, should be happy, but i didnt feel any happiness.
only lonely, stress, tears.

i dunno how long i will be like this..
i dunno what can make me smile again..
dear readers, pls pray for me, ask God to take away my depression. fill me with joy.
so that i can forget about my bday, n looking forward to the birthday that will not be in exam period.

last 2 hours of my bday

now is 9.48pm.
2 more hours..
my bday will end..
29 apr 2008 will become the history already..
today is all lonely.. whole day i lock my self in the room..
surf net, revision, sleep, lunch n dinner. all inside my room.
so funny right?? a birthday without people around.
im trying hard to control my sadness. i dun wan to cry.
although no birthday cake, no sing birthday song, no blow candles, no one hold my hands n tell me happy birthday...
but...
i have phone call birthday wishes from James, my dad, my bro n gu ma.
i have sms bday wishes from many ppl...
i have friendster wishes from many ppl..
i have msn wishes..
i have blog wishes..
i have 2 face to face wishes.. my mum n hui min...



too many wishes..... is worth enough to replace the birthday cake n candles.


thanks to everyone who wish me happy birthday..
but i have to say sorry to everyone..
on 29 apr 2008, im not happy at all.
sorry to disappoint those who wish me..

sorry....

down.

today is the first day i step into 20th.
i should be happy right??
i have so many presents n wishes..
but i dunno why i still so down, i still cant smile.
and the worst thing is, i cant concentrate in my revision..
how am i going to sit for tomorrow's exam..

im lost, totally lost..
even me myself also dunno what make me become like this..
i cant smile on my birthday, my big day.
haiz... watever... jus let it be.. bcoz no one cares...
ok. now i have to go study, before that, i wan to make a thank you list.


Thanks to my parent, they gave me angpau, at first my mum promised me that she will buy me a cake. but.... never mind la.. i can buy for myself n sing for myself after my exam..
Thanks to my 'gu ma', she make the delicious food for me.. although it was made last night.. but after reheat it still taste deliciously.. and thanks for the angpau too.
Thanks to my aunty, last sunday we was shopping at Jusco, she pay for all my cloths. there cost her RM50.
Thanks to my dear bin bin, he brought me a external harddisk during pc fair, for my bday present.. but last sunday he gave me a suprise, he brought me something from the World of Cartoons. Thanks my dear..
Thanks Mrs Yan, for the perfume..
Thanks Ceres, for the watch..
Thanks Oi Voon, for the stars..
Thanks Hui Min, for the small cake...
Thanks to my bro, my dad, my dear, Sue May, James, Hooi Ling, Festiny, Suet Ling, Jaya, Frankie, Pui Mun, Kah Yee, Pai Liang, Sherine, my student in sg way, Jordan, Pei Yee, Lee Choo, Helena, for the bday wishes...

Thanks to those i forgot to put up their names here..

Thank You so much..

sad-ing

Today is so bad mood..
finished a totally screwed up test paper. went home, took an apple n a pear, to be my very late lunch. after that hui min bring me a small cake.. she wish me happy birthday.. i was so happy on that moment.. someone remember my birthday... on this stressful exam period...

today supposed to have a very nice dinner.. my "gu ma" prepared a dish for me.. at first my dad promised to pick up that dish after work.. but last minute my dad doesnt wan to go to my "gu ma" house to take it.. reason is he say its late, he wan to take dinner, he dun wan waste time to go over to take the dish... tomorrow is my birthday.. today is my last day in 19th years old.. after tonight i no longer a small girl with an age begining with 1. cant he just make it for me. im angry. i refuse to go dinner with them. my mum scold me.. cant u jus think on your dad's perspective. i know.. im not a good girl. i always angry with my parent. is my problem. but they still love me very much. after that my mum brought me a fried mee hoon, then she said 'if u wan to eat then u eat, if u dun wan to eat, jus throw away.' i know she wan me to eat, jus she is angry coz i angry them. so she say that. i wont throw it away, bcoz that is the way they love me.

last time.. i cant really express my feeling on blog.. bcoz i scared ppl will laugh at me.. but now i dun worry anymore.. bcoz no one is reading it..

now is 9.48pm 28 april 2008.
another 2hours 12 minutes. i will say bye bye to my 19th, n welcome my 20th.
birthday.. should be happy..
but at this moment.. i cried...
first is.. im alone.. last time.. i have my parent with me.. but now im staying alone.. so.. im alone.. in this last 2 hours.
second.. i cant celebrate my bday cheerfully.. bcoz exam havent end!!!!! i have to study whole day on my birthday!!! so sad!!!
third... the next 2 years also have to celebrate my bday during exam period!!!!!! why why why!!!

update!

Its been so long i never update about myself..

em.. too long story to go..
so i will just skip it..


well, this is 13th week..
coming up is 14th week..
next is study week..
then the following will be my EXAM!!!!

opps... exam is coming..
and im not prepare anything yet!
please pray for me...
ask God to discipline me...
for man cannot rely on his own strength..
i will lost if i rely on my own mind to be discipline...

em.. next is the camp..
i hope i can bring my entire fellowship to the camp...
for them to learn more!
so that i can leave them without worry about them.. (im so bad!)
i will pray for it..

anything else??
i guess no..
but yet..
1 more thing...

bring me more CUSTOMERS!!!!

please...
and thanks...

Please support !!

I have my own online store..

Please feel free to visit..


www.jacoonlinestore.blogspot.com

thanks...

a reply for you.

girl, i didnt angry with you, so no need to say sorry and ask for forgiveness.
these years, i know you also put a lot of patient in me.
since im a person who say something without thinking of the consequences.
even when im just joking, but people dunno that im joking.
not only you felt this, even bin also tell me that.
sometimes i said something that hurts him.
but yesterday after he read your blog, he message me through msn.
"there are times u say thing that hurt me a lot. do u really mean that?"
that time only i realise, im such a person.
but i didnt mean anything to harm anyone.
this is me, but i will try to change.
what you said, is a mirror, for me to see my self.
this is what bin told me yesterday.

yes. i should reflect about myself.
bin said, i seems putting you down all these while.
yes, i saw that, now i know im such a bad person.

im touched when i read your post.
and im also sorry that make you go through this.
no need to ask for forgiveness.
because i never angry with you.
but i angry with myself.

no need to sorry about so many things.
it will just make me more and more guilty.
i didnt say that i cried when i was typing that message.
but you still know it.
bacause you are my best friend.
you know me.
you know that im a person will cry easily.
but dun feel sorry for that.
because i cry not bacause you hurt me. but is because i hurt you.
for so many times.

anyway, thanks for the reply.

for you.

girl, i didnt know that you hate me that much.
but im here to declare something.

first,about the monitor.
yes i admit i do said that.
but that time i didnt ask you must buy that one.
i do told you to think properly because that is a china brand,cant guarantee to be good.
yet,you said i think mine is all good or the best. but you didnt see my "not good" things.
my comp spoiled many times. more than you.
my monitor also spoiled. it happen long time before yours.

next, the phone thing.
im sorry that it bring such result.
my little member, who is form 1 this year.
her mum brought her a new w580 last november.
then, this year before cny. her dad said wanna buy her a nokia new music phone.
so, she put a big title on msn, said that she wanna sell off her w580.
then i think about you.
so i ask her the price, then i straight away sms you.
after few days, you said about your cousin.
i didnt said for sure it is ap or anything. i just ask, whether is or not,and it have that possibility.
when you keep ask me, i also keep ask that girl.
but after cny, she told me that her mum dun allow her to change phone.
because it is still new.
she is just a form 1 student, a little girl.
is my fault to ask you.
is my fault to kepo about that phone.
all these caused the bargain issue. the ap phone issue. the arguement between you and your sis.
im so sorry about that.

3rd. the cheat thing.
i wan to tell you.
i said i dun like to play cheat like you.
but i didnt say "Just exactly how you are in your real life." and "Also like you in real life la..."
i said i wont play cheat when i play game, not like you.
GAME, not real life.
if you think i said that, then i got nothing to say.
im sure i didnt say REAL LIFE, because in my memory, you didnt play "cheat" in your daily life.
i dunno why you will say i said that. but if you think i have said that. then i will accept it.
bacause is my fault to hurt you at first.
is my fault to give you bad impression that im a person who think my things is always the best.

lastly about the fairer issue.
i admit i do say u stay at home. because that time u havent start your 2nd job yet.
yes i admit i do take our hands n compare.
but i didnt say "at least fairer than me."
the compare is not mean to say that you should be fairer.
im become darker day by day.
since i always walk in the sun without umbrella.
is me who lazy to take umbrella.
but i swear i didnt said at least fairer than me.
maybe i said other thing at that time.
i dunno. because i dun remember the exact dialog.
again, im sorry i make you feel that.

there are too many times i hurt you but i dunno.
this is who i am.
i am who i was during secondary school.
i do changed for a period.
that is when i having a non christian bf.
when i go into a new environment.
no friends around.
felt lonely all the way.
that time im lost.
i broken my faith, i broken the relationship between me and God.
but in june 2007, i start to have new life.
same with you. in the camp. i felt God's calling.
that is the period i cant accept myself n God.
because i left God. but He still love me and call me back to Him.
this is just a short sharring about my recent life.

till here, i realise our relationship is broken.

im sorry i lecture you. be strict with you.
i do not understand what you feel as a very very young christian.
but what i said, is my way to show my love as a sister in christ.
"who ever love God must also love his brother" 1 john 4:21b
i know you dun like me to say about your believes.
but for me, you choose to believe what you feel you want to believe.
Christianity is not as easy as you think.
i know what i told you is useless.
because you wont listen to me.
Bible tell me that i should stop judge about what you want or dun wan to believe.
"who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stand or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." romans 14:4
"You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother?For we will all stand before God's judgement seat." romans 14:10
so now i will stop judge you on what you doing.
but i just hope the word of God will lead you. "for the Lord is able to make him stand."

the message behind 1 corinthians chapter 13.
Love is long suffering.
Love you as my best friend.
Love you as my sister in christ.
i should suffer in trials.
satan's work is begin to success in among us.
but Jesus said,"but he who stand firm to the end will be saved." matt 24:13
so we have to stand firm. dun let satan destroy us.

just like in your blog, you feel im annoying.
becuase i keep 'nyam cham' you about christian life style.
but what i told you is from the bible.
Bible gave us command. about our life style, about how to pray, about everything. about things happen is our daily life. about trials.
manytimes we cant just look at the surface of that verse.
but the hidden meaning, the hidden message.

i wont interupt your life style anymore.
i wont comment what u should do or what you should not do.
but i know one day, God will make you a true christian.
God will make you have christian life style.
God will let you follow His command day by day. little by little.

from now on i will keep my mouth shut.
i dunno whether this is correct or not.
i dunno what God want me to do.
but i know God will tell me.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 corinthians 4:18
now what i seen is only your life style.
is still involve with those we should not have related to. like tarot.
but what is unseen is your faith. your Love. your trust. your believe in God.

Valentine's Cards

Currently im helping my cousin to sell Valentine's Card.

I got RM1 discount from him..

So, if you r interested.
Please leave a message or ask me through msn.

i will send you the designs.

All those designs is only for their company staff to sell to other ppl.
So u cant find it at memory lane or any book store.

Pain eyes....

Last night...
I cried...

My heart broke into pieces...



Should I continue give him chance?
Should I give up on loving him?

Or shall I say...

Should I continue LOVE him?
Although he might put me away...
Although he might love game or leisure more than me...


I dont know...
What should I choose?

Christmas!!!!!

Christmas coming.......

nothing much to say...

just feel very happy because we are celebrating Jesus's birthday..


=P

NEW phone~!

I WAN A NEW PHONE!!

with...
3G...
Bluetooth....
Camera...
MP3 player like SE W-series...
Nice design...

and the most important....
Price within 1000...


Anyone out there got any suggestion...
Could you please let me know??????????

Update!!

Last few weeks really tension..
first is sketch..
then next whole week busy with carnival - Glass deco...
finally is over...
will post some pictures later..

hehe...
finally i brought a modem..
now can online at home already..

NEW motherboard!!

I received a call from All IT yesterday...
she said Gigabyte had replace me a new motherboard..
at first i thought is old model..
but when i open and check..
it is the same model...
im so happy...
im wondering..
should i sell it with cheap price or keep for my self??
maybe you can give me some advise...