Its hard

I just do not know how to express my fed-up-ness...

Its time for me to move out again, I need to stay outside in order to be independent.

sometimes i wondering, i moved out, why am i so stupid and moved back again...

its been just one year since i move back to stay with my family, just one year..

i started to feeling

执著

现在的我身在云顶。

刚刚进了赌场走了一圈，看见很多行尸走肉的人，一脸执著地把钱往赌场送。我不明，为何这一群人，可以心甘情愿地把钱放在那根本无法预测结果的桌上。

人们，赌博可以为你们带来什么益处呢？为何你们可以如此认真地去把钱财白白地送给别人？

真可悲！！！

Little little things in Life

What is LOVE??

the first intention of answering this question will definately be the boy girl relationship.
but not many people could realise that there are many types of love besides BGR.

Love with God;
Love with parent;
Love among bro and sis;
Love among friends;
Love among neighbours;
Love towards strangers;
Love towards the people you hate;
Love those who hate you;
Love those who hurt you; etc etc etc

words are easy to say but hard to put it in action.
but by God's grace, things became easier to be put into actions.
so the decision is still with us, whether we choose to love, or not to.
sometimes, showing kindness to the people that you dont like is also a way to express your love too. =)

人生

很多人都认为，最好的人生就是事事顺利，无风无浪。我觉得，这种人，很可悲。

在我的知识范围以内，我知道，人生永远不可能事事顺利，反而会有很多的问题冲着你而来。最重要的事，要经得起风风雨雨。因为，唯有经过了风雨的考验，你才会成长并变得成熟，待人处事才可以变得稳重。

可是，人类的生命是何其的软弱及脆弱。如果我们要单靠自己的力量去完成我们人生里面的风风雨雨，恐怕我们无法胜任。

我，是软弱的。但是，我很庆幸。因为有你在我的生命里面，一个永远不会放弃我，也不会离开我的朋友，耶稣。

这全是恩典

我成为现在的我，全因为你，我主。
这将会是一个全新的开始，重拾自己的心情与方向，放下之前的重担，重新出发。

曾经，有一位姐妹在我很失落的时候告诉我，其实神已经原谅了你，那你为何还要把自己锁在里面，不肯原谅你自己呢？
这是我重新站起来的动力。

共勉之。

Grace

9-5-2009

It was a wonderful saturday.

Youth end quite early that day,
so we went to dinner with members..
After that we sent them home......

Next, someone called Bin to ask him go play basketball,
so i went to tesco extra cheras which is nearby the place they played basketball.

About an hour later, i drive to the area where they had their basketball session,
but i dunno the road to turn in, coz the basketball court is in the housing area.
so i stop by at the main road's bus stop, to call them to ask for direction.
but none of them pick up the call...

After 5 to 6 calls...
someone knock my passenger window. ask me to put down the window and want my phone..
then i saw i am surrounded by 4 motors..
i sense it is something wrong, so i put down my handbrake...
then the motorcylist at my right side use something to hit my window.
its all breaks.... became small pieces...
but thank God because Bin's car got the tinted glass.
so the glass pieces didnt fall down..

So, i quickly push oil and run... i was really speeding..
because the 4 motors was chasing after me...
Thank God that i didnt get into accident....
coz i didnt look for the left and right, just go straight...

After that i turn in to the flat area..
then when i came out of that area...
i saw road to turn then i just turn...
coz i was looking for help...
Thank God finally i found a burger stall at the road side....

I was shaking... talk also cant talk properly..
leg are shaking while i was driving...
i just keep shouting God help me! Help me!

So while i reach the burger stall, they gave me chair to sit, talk to me to calm me..
then i call Bin again and again...
5 mins later, finally reach him... so i told him about what happen...
then all of them rush to look for me...
but because i also dunno where am i.. so i can just wait...
10 mins later, 3 cars reached.. once i saw them get down from the car...
i cant stop crying.....



I can only say, Thank God for everything....
Thank God for the protection.....
Thank you God...

finally

Finally!!!!!!
exam is OVER!!!!

Gam dong~

I am so so so happy today~~~~

but no time to say a lot about it..
coz i ned to sleep already..
tomorrow morning ned to wake up early to go for jpj test~
will update later~

Birthday Wish List

I know it is rude to put it up here..
but I just want to put here for fun~


1. Clinique type 2 facial set
2. Money - coz now very poor *.*
3. A study Bible with dwi language - since my Bible dont have any reference, so want a study Bible.
4. Chocolate Foundue
5. Digital Camera - coz mine is sot sot edi...
6. Handbag - coz mine is in the progress of spoil-ing....
7. Hair Saloon session - I want to curl my hair~ hmm, but not now, coz not long enough~
added later
8. utensils to make muffins, cakes etc etc... coz i only have what is needed to make cookies... i want to expand to make cakes and muffins... hehe
9. Sue May reminds me of HOLIDAY.... i wanna go Taman Negara.. again~

I think should stop dreaming~ hahahahaha
by the way, I got my first 21st birthday present on the 21st Apr..
Thanks to my mum and aunt..
they brought me a new 18k white gold necklace.. post up pic later...

Lost

I am lost.
Lost in the mist of loneliness.
I dunno what I feeling right now.
It is so so so confused, so messy.
Should i say myself is emo-ing?
I am. Maybe.

Sunday morning suppose to be a bright shining perfect sunday, because it was Easter Day.
but because of me, forgot about adding a plastic bag, make my sunday to be a emo sunday.
first time, i felt that he is so so so angry, because of my fault, his car got dirty, carpet got wet.
and that is the first time, he shout at me on the phone.
I dunno what i can do, i just can say sorry.

Sorry that i am a stupid person.
Sorry that you have a stupid girlfriend.
sorry that i am not caring enough.
Sorry that i am not as useful as your car.
Sorry that i blame myself.
Sorry for everything.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
we never talk to each other on phone.
and our sms is less than 20 in total.
it break our almost 2 year's record.


I felt hurt, i felt lonely.
I felt emptyness.

While i am on the journey of walking to school, my eyes were searching...
hope i can found a Nissan Sentra with a bicycle rack on top, I just hope to see him.
Everytime i saw a Nissan Sentra, my heart will suddenly feel like poke by a knife.
but after that, it was full of dissapointment.

I wan to be strong, i dun wan to be his burden.
i know that his work stress him a lot, so i try not to disturb him.

i dunno what i am writing, all of them doesnt related to each other.....
i just wan to express my feeling, i wan to stop writing, i wan to stop thinking.
coz i wan to stop crying.

anyone who read this post, if u know who is the him in this passage, pls do not tell him about this.
coz he wont read my blog, so i can write it out here, so pls dun let him know.
thank you so much!

Cooking Making

First time bake cookies...

coz bin brought me a new oven..^^

not really nice but still can eat.. hehe

i will continue to practice..

coz i know practice make perfect!!!

Who am I?

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.?

Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when
I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Bridge&Chorus 2x

I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

Recently I like this song very much..
It reminds me that I am nothing, I am saved by Grace of God....
sometimes, I feel that I am very very guilty..
but I dont have the courage to make a change...
maybe is because deep in my heart.. i dont wanna change...

Dear Lord, please help me..
I am too lazy... please let me to be more hardworking...
so that I can have better relationship with You...

My new blog~

Kindly view my latest shop!

http://amyshandyshop.blogspot.com/

Random pics

Niu Ze Xui, center stage

Full House, Niu Ze Xui

we play play at at the carefour~

perasan betul la!!!

Genting again~