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a reply for you.

girl, i didnt angry with you, so no need to say sorry and ask for forgiveness.
these years, i know you also put a lot of patient in me.
since im a person who say something without thinking of the consequences.
even when im just joking, but people dunno that im joking.
not only you felt this, even bin also tell me that.
sometimes i said something that hurts him.
but yesterday after he read your blog, he message me through msn.
"there are times u say thing that hurt me a lot. do u really mean that?"
that time only i realise, im such a person.
but i didnt mean anything to harm anyone.
this is me, but i will try to change.
what you said, is a mirror, for me to see my self.
this is what bin told me yesterday.

yes. i should reflect about myself.
bin said, i seems putting you down all these while.
yes, i saw that, now i know im such a bad person.

im touched when i read your post.
and im also sorry that make you go through this.
no need to ask for forgiveness.
because i never angry with you.
but i angry with myself.

no need to sorry about so many things.
it will just make me more and more guilty.
i didnt say that i cried when i was typing that message.
but you still know it.
bacause you are my best friend.
you know me.
you know that im a person will cry easily.
but dun feel sorry for that.
because i cry not bacause you hurt me. but is because i hurt you.
for so many times.

anyway, thanks for the reply.

for you.

girl, i didnt know that you hate me that much.
but im here to declare something.

first,about the monitor.
yes i admit i do said that.
but that time i didnt ask you must buy that one.
i do told you to think properly because that is a china brand,cant guarantee to be good.
yet,you said i think mine is all good or the best. but you didnt see my "not good" things.
my comp spoiled many times. more than you.
my monitor also spoiled. it happen long time before yours.

next, the phone thing.
im sorry that it bring such result.
my little member, who is form 1 this year.
her mum brought her a new w580 last november.
then, this year before cny. her dad said wanna buy her a nokia new music phone.
so, she put a big title on msn, said that she wanna sell off her w580.
then i think about you.
so i ask her the price, then i straight away sms you.
after few days, you said about your cousin.
i didnt said for sure it is ap or anything. i just ask, whether is or not,and it have that possibility.
when you keep ask me, i also keep ask that girl.
but after cny, she told me that her mum dun allow her to change phone.
because it is still new.
she is just a form 1 student, a little girl.
is my fault to ask you.
is my fault to kepo about that phone.
all these caused the bargain issue. the ap phone issue. the arguement between you and your sis.
im so sorry about that.

3rd. the cheat thing.
i wan to tell you.
i said i dun like to play cheat like you.
but i didnt say "Just exactly how you are in your real life." and "Also like you in real life la..."
i said i wont play cheat when i play game, not like you.
GAME, not real life.
if you think i said that, then i got nothing to say.
im sure i didnt say REAL LIFE, because in my memory, you didnt play "cheat" in your daily life.
i dunno why you will say i said that. but if you think i have said that. then i will accept it.
bacause is my fault to hurt you at first.
is my fault to give you bad impression that im a person who think my things is always the best.

lastly about the fairer issue.
i admit i do say u stay at home. because that time u havent start your 2nd job yet.
yes i admit i do take our hands n compare.
but i didnt say "at least fairer than me."
the compare is not mean to say that you should be fairer.
im become darker day by day.
since i always walk in the sun without umbrella.
is me who lazy to take umbrella.
but i swear i didnt said at least fairer than me.
maybe i said other thing at that time.
i dunno. because i dun remember the exact dialog.
again, im sorry i make you feel that.

there are too many times i hurt you but i dunno.
this is who i am.
i am who i was during secondary school.
i do changed for a period.
that is when i having a non christian bf.
when i go into a new environment.
no friends around.
felt lonely all the way.
that time im lost.
i broken my faith, i broken the relationship between me and God.
but in june 2007, i start to have new life.
same with you. in the camp. i felt God's calling.
that is the period i cant accept myself n God.
because i left God. but He still love me and call me back to Him.
this is just a short sharring about my recent life.

till here, i realise our relationship is broken.

im sorry i lecture you. be strict with you.
i do not understand what you feel as a very very young christian.
but what i said, is my way to show my love as a sister in christ.
"who ever love God must also love his brother" 1 john 4:21b
i know you dun like me to say about your believes.
but for me, you choose to believe what you feel you want to believe.
Christianity is not as easy as you think.
i know what i told you is useless.
because you wont listen to me.
Bible tell me that i should stop judge about what you want or dun wan to believe.
"who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stand or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand." romans 14:4
"You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother?For we will all stand before God's judgement seat." romans 14:10
so now i will stop judge you on what you doing.
but i just hope the word of God will lead you. "for the Lord is able to make him stand."

the message behind 1 corinthians chapter 13.
Love is long suffering.
Love you as my best friend.
Love you as my sister in christ.
i should suffer in trials.
satan's work is begin to success in among us.
but Jesus said,"but he who stand firm to the end will be saved." matt 24:13
so we have to stand firm. dun let satan destroy us.

just like in your blog, you feel im annoying.
becuase i keep 'nyam cham' you about christian life style.
but what i told you is from the bible.
Bible gave us command. about our life style, about how to pray, about everything. about things happen is our daily life. about trials.
manytimes we cant just look at the surface of that verse.
but the hidden meaning, the hidden message.

i wont interupt your life style anymore.
i wont comment what u should do or what you should not do.
but i know one day, God will make you a true christian.
God will make you have christian life style.
God will let you follow His command day by day. little by little.

from now on i will keep my mouth shut.
i dunno whether this is correct or not.
i dunno what God want me to do.
but i know God will tell me.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 corinthians 4:18
now what i seen is only your life style.
is still involve with those we should not have related to. like tarot.
but what is unseen is your faith. your Love. your trust. your believe in God.

Valentine's Cards

Currently im helping my cousin to sell Valentine's Card.

I got RM1 discount from him..

So, if you r interested.
Please leave a message or ask me through msn.

i will send you the designs.

All those designs is only for their company staff to sell to other ppl.
So u cant find it at memory lane or any book store.

Pain eyes....

Last night...
I cried...

My heart broke into pieces...



Should I continue give him chance?
Should I give up on loving him?

Or shall I say...

Should I continue LOVE him?
Although he might put me away...
Although he might love game or leisure more than me...


I dont know...
What should I choose?

Christmas!!!!!

Christmas coming.......

nothing much to say...

just feel very happy because we are celebrating Jesus's birthday..


=P

NEW phone~!

I WAN A NEW PHONE!!

with...
3G...
Bluetooth....
Camera...
MP3 player like SE W-series...
Nice design...

and the most important....
Price within 1000...


Anyone out there got any suggestion...
Could you please let me know??????????

Update!!

Last few weeks really tension..
first is sketch..
then next whole week busy with carnival - Glass deco...
finally is over...
will post some pictures later..

hehe...
finally i brought a modem..
now can online at home already..

NEW motherboard!!

I received a call from All IT yesterday...
she said Gigabyte had replace me a new motherboard..
at first i thought is old model..
but when i open and check..
it is the same model...
im so happy...
im wondering..
should i sell it with cheap price or keep for my self??
maybe you can give me some advise...

UPDATE...

my cpu is ok already...
but LCD monitor need to wait 3 more weeks....
cant online at home.. suffering...

now got 2 things sent for warranty..
motherboard and LCD monitor..

then need to save money to buy a new modem...



or anyone out there have an extra streamyx modem...
can sell me with cheap price????????

and anyone out there have an extra monitor...
no matter is LCD or CRT...
can borrow me few weeks???????


if u do..
please let me know...
thanks a lot....

Bad mood...

A thunder destroy everything!!!



I was away for 3 days..
back to seri kembangan..

then when i went back to pj..
i cant start my computer..

My cousin told me..
his pc oso sent for repair already..
because there was a heavy rain on saturday..
with a super thunder...

so i sent my cpu to a shop..
the person just call me..
motherboard and power supply is spoiled..

not these only..
yesterday..
i use my friend's laptop to online..
but cant..
coz my modem oso spoiled..
then i try to on the LCD monitor..
oso cant on...


my pc totally down!!!
im so poor already..
why all these happen..
why want me to use money..
where am i going to get money?

im soooooooooooooooo down!

Update!!

hmm...

exam finished!

enjoy...
go karaoke...

go pd...

go shopping..

watch drama..

watch movies..

play games...

After a week...

Start working...

monday to thursday..

wake up at 7am...

reach office about 8.30am...

start work at 9am..

lunch at 12pm...

finish work at 6pm..

reach home about 7.10pm..

this is my life during holiday...

hmmmmmm...

now wan to share some photos taken at pd..

A long day..

Today is a very long day..

~Morning~
wake up and saw the sms that he sent on 3am..
he reach home at 3am..
Im not angry that he went out with friends..
but i angry that he didnt tell me he went to cc..
I was waited so long for his sms that tells me he reach home safely..
He didnt drive to church yesterday..
I was so worry that why so late he havent reach home?
Ist no people fetch him home?
Ist accident?
I wait until i fall asleep..

This morning I was so dissapointed..
I wonder..
Am i really an important person to him?
Is that my care for him became a burden for him?
He didnt know im so worry about him..
He said he know he was wrong..
He ask for my forgiveness..
He want me to give him time to change..

~Afternoon~
EXAM!!!
I really dunno what can i score for this exam..
6 subjects..
I scare i screwed up everything..

~Night~
Ceres suddenly msn me and tell me that Isabel sent her a sms that full of negative thoughts...
So i sent a sms to isabel..
ask her what happened to her...

Later she online..
so i chat with her on msn..
I was so helpless..
I dunno how to help this friend..
She need more care and attentions..
I dunno how to help her to get rid of her negative thoughts..

I hope she really can understand what i told her..
I also hope that she can go through the hard time...

Lazy...

These few days..
I felt lazy..
No mood to study..
No mood to think about solutions..

Maybe is too stress?
Maybe is our love start to shake?

Why i cannot trust you the way i wanted to?
Why you cannot give me the confidence about our love?

You said..
Those are just memories..
I really want to believe that those are memories for you..
But its hard..
Not just because of the feeling you gave me..
But the things that i saw with my own eyes..
I was trying so hard to tell myself that..
I trust you..

I have to be honest to my feelings..
I dont want to lie in our relationship..
I told you my feeling..
You said you understand..
You promised that you will....

I hope you will do it..

Love - 1 Cor 13:4 - 8

Love is Patient..
Love is Kind..
Love does not Envy...
Love does not Boast..
Love is not Proud..
Love is not Rude..
Love is not Self-seeking..
Love is not Easily Angered..
Love keeps No record of Wrongs...
Love does not delight in Evil but Rejoices with the truth...
Love always Protects..
Love always Trusts..
Love always Hopes..
Love always perseveres...



Love NEVER fails...

These are Love that shown in the bible..
We always hope that we will get the Love above..
But we never think that we need to give Love to others too..

I know there are many people in my life..
need the love too...
neither do i...

But Jesus says...
Give is more blessed then receive..

So i have to learn..
how to give love to others...
to my parent..
my loved one..
my family members..
my friends..
my brothers and sisters...
like the way i love myself..