Gam dong~

I am so so so happy today~~~~

but no time to say a lot about it..
coz i ned to sleep already..
tomorrow morning ned to wake up early to go for jpj test~
will update later~

Birthday Wish List

I know it is rude to put it up here..
but I just want to put here for fun~


1. Clinique type 2 facial set
2. Money - coz now very poor *.*
3. A study Bible with dwi language - since my Bible dont have any reference, so want a study Bible.
4. Chocolate Foundue
5. Digital Camera - coz mine is sot sot edi...
6. Handbag - coz mine is in the progress of spoil-ing....
7. Hair Saloon session - I want to curl my hair~ hmm, but not now, coz not long enough~
added later
8. utensils to make muffins, cakes etc etc... coz i only have what is needed to make cookies... i want to expand to make cakes and muffins... hehe
9. Sue May reminds me of HOLIDAY.... i wanna go Taman Negara.. again~

I think should stop dreaming~ hahahahaha
by the way, I got my first 21st birthday present on the 21st Apr..
Thanks to my mum and aunt..
they brought me a new 18k white gold necklace.. post up pic later...

Lost

I am lost.
Lost in the mist of loneliness.
I dunno what I feeling right now.
It is so so so confused, so messy.
Should i say myself is emo-ing?
I am. Maybe.

Sunday morning suppose to be a bright shining perfect sunday, because it was Easter Day.
but because of me, forgot about adding a plastic bag, make my sunday to be a emo sunday.
first time, i felt that he is so so so angry, because of my fault, his car got dirty, carpet got wet.
and that is the first time, he shout at me on the phone.
I dunno what i can do, i just can say sorry.

Sorry that i am a stupid person.
Sorry that you have a stupid girlfriend.
sorry that i am not caring enough.
Sorry that i am not as useful as your car.
Sorry that i blame myself.
Sorry for everything.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
we never talk to each other on phone.
and our sms is less than 20 in total.
it break our almost 2 year's record.


I felt hurt, i felt lonely.
I felt emptyness.

While i am on the journey of walking to school, my eyes were searching...
hope i can found a Nissan Sentra with a bicycle rack on top, I just hope to see him.
Everytime i saw a Nissan Sentra, my heart will suddenly feel like poke by a knife.
but after that, it was full of dissapointment.

I wan to be strong, i dun wan to be his burden.
i know that his work stress him a lot, so i try not to disturb him.

i dunno what i am writing, all of them doesnt related to each other.....
i just wan to express my feeling, i wan to stop writing, i wan to stop thinking.
coz i wan to stop crying.

anyone who read this post, if u know who is the him in this passage, pls do not tell him about this.
coz he wont read my blog, so i can write it out here, so pls dun let him know.
thank you so much!

Cooking Making

First time bake cookies...

coz bin brought me a new oven..^^

not really nice but still can eat.. hehe

i will continue to practice..

coz i know practice make perfect!!!

Who am I?

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.?

Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when
I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Bridge&Chorus 2x

I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

Recently I like this song very much..
It reminds me that I am nothing, I am saved by Grace of God....
sometimes, I feel that I am very very guilty..
but I dont have the courage to make a change...
maybe is because deep in my heart.. i dont wanna change...

Dear Lord, please help me..
I am too lazy... please let me to be more hardworking...
so that I can have better relationship with You...