2011 Excitement =S

Wow! 2011 is just 4 days away. =S

today, i went to my new company to sign offer letter, before i sign the letter, they required me to go to their company clinic to do a pre-employment body check up. i kinda worried about the result, because i scared my body got problem due to 22 years of anti-vege. but, guess what? doc said i am healthy... XD

so i returned to the company to meet the HR assistant, she gave me few documents to read, after i read, she brief me for the important things, lastly sign the documents, and initial the every page. ><

this is the first time i am going to work in listed company, its a BIG company for me. =S

well, 2011 is a total new year for me, new challenges - no matter in work, in church, even in family.

for work, i know i got a lot of things that i need to learn, because its a industry that i never involved before. 6 months probation period, every leave that i take will be unpaid leave, i now start to worried about camp, dont know whether they will approve so many days of unpaid leave or not.

for church, a new role for me, slowly i learned about the importance of a life. last time, i wasnt that willing to get involved to another person's life, because its troublesome. when i was a president in MI fellowship, i just think it is a responsibility, and i need to do things that i needed to. i dont care about what is the reason that another person leave church or stop coming to fellowship, i wont ask or find out when i see some people is not happy. but God taught me all these lessons step by step, He taught me to care for others. He is amazing! by feeling the burdens of others and sharing the burdens with them, is the main source that He taught me to look into other's life and take it seriously. thats why i always believe, God will show me the purpose when the lessons is over and learned.

for family, commited to meetings and trainings is a big struggle for me, there is nothing i can do, only can pray that my mum will understands me and support me about doing His work. i can foresee the coming days, my mum will keep repeat her anger towards this matter again and again. by that time, i just can ask God for His grace again and again, to help me go through every single one of it.

so, 2011, i looked forward to it. it will be a great step in life when its over, and i am sure i have a lot more lessons to learn along the way.

一颗心

最近，身边有太多太多的事情发生了。

今天早上的事情，让我一整天的心情都不好受。
到了傍晚，我的心里越来越重，压得我想哭。
所以就决定插手，亲自打电话并主动去了解。

回家的路上，我一直在自责，因为忽然觉得自己好像很多事，也自己骂自己，为什么没事找事来烦，把自己搞到好像这个又关我事，那个又关我事。

慢慢开始回想这几个月里，到底把多少个人的烦恼往身上扛，忽然想起一件很好笑的事，为什么我的头脑可以记得别人的烦恼，可是却忘记了自己要做的事情？难道我把脑海的空位统统装满了别人的烦恼？= ='''

这也许是神给我的恩赐，祂给我一颗细小的心，让我能看见细小的事。

谢谢祂，给我这样的一颗心。
谢谢祂，给我一双愿意倾听的耳朵。
谢谢祂，教导我如何去感受别人的感受。
谢谢祂，给我足够的恩典。
否则，我觉得我已经发疯了。

在我们的生命里面，总有起起落落的时候。
无论事情如排山倒海般冲向我们，
只要坚守自己的岗位，
举起基督的旗，
就可以了。

可是不要忘记每一件事情背后，
总有一个要点，
是上帝要我们学习的。

Oh NOOOOOOOOOO!

today is Christmas day, and today is also the first Christmas throughout my 22 Christmas, that I din go to church and remember my Lord's birthday.

I felt so bad, it was my fault because i din hear my alarm ringing, because i was too tired after a long day yesterday. I woke up when my aunt call me and ask me why i didnt go and fetch her to church, then i look at the clock, oh no! it was almost 10am.

so i go out and ask my mum why she didnt wake me when she hear my alarm, she start to scold me and she also say "why i want to call you to wake up, I dont want. when you want to go petra you will automatic wake up, when go pj then you wont wake up, bla bla bla......."

i admit it was my fault because i am too tired until i didnt hear the alarm rang. but i just dont understand why my mum always want to think that way she did. sigh...

sorry Lord, that I have made a very very silly mistake on the Christmas of year 2010.

Mum

Mum,

If i died young, this is the message that i left for you, i know you cant understand, but i know there will be people read this to you and translate it to you.

Ma, no matter how many times you throw my things away before you get my agreement; no matter how hard you scold me about the mindset that you have; no matter how many times you slap me on my face. it doesnt matter, you are still my mother.

again and again, i keep on repeating about the work that God has given to me, it might be very very small, and it doesnt even really count as 'a matter' in your eyes. but again and again i beg you, dont assume yuke bin is the reason that i choose to serve there, i told you for many many times, it may be yes for previously, but not now, not anymore. he is not a reason for me to be there every saturday since year 2010. i had let go of it, why cant you?

Ma, the reason i be there is i can see myself grow and learn to love people. not because of the broken bgr that u thought. i have told you for so many times, but yet, you still insisted it is. i am glad that i was born in a Christian family, and i also thank God for the things that He tought me through CMC throughout the years. i believe He has prepared me for a greater purpose, why cant you stand up and look a bit further and have a little faith?

there are so many things that i told you to make you understand, but everytime you will end up shouted at me and say i abondoned you. i am trying not to, because i know you only have 1 child, which is me. i did not forget that, i am trying my best to do things that i can with the ability that i have, but you demands me to follow exactly every single word you said, when i choose not to obey, then you will start to scold me and angry at me.

Ma, i just want to let you know, whatever i do there is not for the sake of my own self or some other reasons that you thought of. i do it because of God, for His people. i am just a tiny worker that God willing to use. everytime you scold me about car, you said i fetch other people more than i fetch you, and you also said if dad didnt pay the deposit, how can i get the car. when i answer you that this car is a gift from God, and if God didnt allow me to have one, then anyhow i wont get it. but you wasnt agree with me. you think i am stupid, wasted petrol money to fetch people without asking back money. yes i am that stupid, i believe God gave me enough grace to serve His people.

I am sorry that i did not follow everything that you said; i am sorry that i became a rebellion daughter in your eyes; i am sorry that i did not listen to you about which church i should go to; i am sorry that i broke your heart when i tell you i choose there instead of go back to CMC; i am so sorry for everything.


your daughter,
pei wen

Your will??

Lord, if this is Your Will,

then let Your Will be done.

Tho many trials and troubles are coming my way,
but Lord, help me to set my heart on You.

Family is a big struggle to me,

Lord, i know You knew it well.

if this is Your Will,

then im sure You will open a way.

习惯成自然

每天做同样的事情会变成一种习惯，
而习惯了之后，
会慢慢变成自然。

惧。

慌。


若非我所愿，何事乃我愿？
勿忘神话语，凡事系心切。

烦恼．忧伤．喜乐．感恩

这几天，几乎每天都有事情发生，把我憋得不想写东西。

钱的事情，一直都缠着我，我不想成为钱的奴隶。
可是怎么为什么我这么努力地打工，身兼多职，钱还是那么的少。
每个月给这个给那个，根本没得储蓄。
我开始讨厌自己有车，供车和汽油已经花掉70%的薪金。

星期五早上，当我要去中心的时候，发现车发动不了。
心开始慌，我只剩下20块钱，怎样叫人来帮我弄。
最后只好打电话给Uncle Jack, 他是Joshua的爸爸，Joshua是我妈妈顾的那个小孩。
Uncle Jack 帮我检查，然后出去买车的电池，回来后帮我换。
我问他那个电池多少钱，他叫我不要理，不要担心多少钱。
我在想，上帝一定是听到我的心里在喊，没钱的时候怎么来一个坏车事件。
祂知道我不知所措，所以为我准备了帮助。
Uncle Jack 在星期六早上就会带他的一家到Australia旅行，
两个星期后才回来，所以我说，上帝真的很奇妙。
祂的安排和帮助总是来得刚刚好，不会迟也不会早。

祂的手所造的一切和所安排的一切，
永远都是刚刚好，这是祂给我那些白白的恩典。

主啊！求你教我顺服，我知道我很倔强，可是求你一步一步带领我，教导我顺服的功课。