Its past

my birthday is past.
now is 30 apr 2008 1am.

my 20th birthday is the worst birthday for these 20 years.
1-exam period
2-no celebration
3-alone

whole day, i didnt talk, didnt smile..
i tried not to remember it was my birthday..
but its hard.

i know there are people planning to celebrate with me later.
but the meaning had lost....

till 11pm.. still got people wish me happy birthday..
thanks to my cousins.. they called me..
sing birthday song to me on the phone...
im so touch.. my first bday song..

till 11.45pm.. bin came..
he brought me ice cream.. but i didnt eat it..

dear, i know u r trying to comfort me..
but the depression i face on the whole day, not something that can easily forget..
you dun understand.. you wont understand...
although you cant understand what im facing...
i thank you you came. at the last 15 minutes.
accompany me go through the last 15 minutes..
borrowed me your shoulder..
the bday song u sang..
n the other songs that u trying to comfort me..
thank you.
i know u didnt read my blog, but still, i have to say thank you.

birthday, should be happy, but i didnt feel any happiness.
only lonely, stress, tears.

i dunno how long i will be like this..
i dunno what can make me smile again..
dear readers, pls pray for me, ask God to take away my depression. fill me with joy.
so that i can forget about my bday, n looking forward to the birthday that will not be in exam period.